What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Sure no problem officer.

After a few moments he returns.

What questions are asked in a JP Morgan Hirevue interview?

Yes sir it is.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

What does it feel like when a guy cums in your ass?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

How many women have accidentally pooped their pants and became turned on afterwards?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Why do I feel like I want to suck a big dick after injecting meth?

HELLO

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

{RING} {RING}

When a black man and a white woman have a child, does the child become white? If a white man and a black woman have a child, does the child become black?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.